Funny Shit to Post on Facebook

Here are the 150+ funny Facebook status messages that will be liked by everyone to get you more comments on your FB profile. Do you get fascinated by your friend's Facebook status and worried about how you could impress them? It is nothing to worry about because there are various ways through which you can also compel them to like your Facebook status.

You must have heard from your parents that they used humour as a tool to keep themselves different from anyone else and make the situation hilarious with funny jokes. Since there were no such platforms as Facebook, Twitter and so forth, people share a joke to bring smiles to their friend's faces.

It is important to understand humor is something that is usually liked by everyone, and it makes one laugh out loud so upload the status that is funny to impress your peers. Do not wait because it is the best time to amaze your friends with these funny Facebook statuses and let them stress-free while enjoying your status.

Read Also: Funny Wi-Fi Names for your home wireless network

FUNNY FACEBOOK STATUS in 2022

1. I just printed on Wireless Printer but not sure which neighbor has my document.
2. The easiest way to double your money is to fold it over.
3. Facebook funny status: Tomato is a fruit so do not put it in a fruit salad.
4. Two things are common in politicians and diapers, both need to change regularly.
5. We live in a society where pizza gets to your house earlier than Police do.
6. You can go wherever you want if carry a clipboard.
7. 'Hold my purse', words to humiliate men everywhere.
8. Don't argue with an idiot. They beat you with their experience.
9. My pillow could be my hairstylist because I wake up to weird hairstyles.
10. People write Congrats on my wall because they do not know the spelling of Congratulations.
11. The trouble with being punctual is that no one cares.
12. Marriage is similar to going to a restaurant, ordering something, and then looking at the nearby table, and wishing you would order that.
13. If you get difficult questions in life, Google gives you answers.
14. Money cannot buy happiness. It pays for the internet, which is the same thing.
15. FACEBOOK STORY is to add the friend – Approve -> Write on the wall -Chatting– Block.
16. Get ready to be in prison for stealing my heart and hijacking my feelings.
17. If you are reading this, be happy you know how to read.
18. Facebook is a fridge. Yes, because when you are alone, you open it to see if there's anything.
19. You know what; the zoo is the best place to fart.
20. I am not 40 years old; I am just 18 years with 22 years of experience.
21. When somebody is doing dishes I put another plate on the sink.
22. Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
23. Doctors checked out a boy's brain; on the left side, nothing is right; and on the right side, nothing left.
24. Reduce weight, first turn your head to the left then turn it to the right. Repeat this until you get anything to eat from either of the sides.
25. Distinguish a lady and a woman? A lady does what she has taught, and a woman does what she wants.
26. I am jealous of my parents. I can never have a kid as cool as theirs.
27. Can I click on your picture? I love pictures of natural disasters.
28. I cannot lose weight. The shampoo I use says 'for extra volume and body.'
29. I am a smart person but just do stupid things.
30. Learn a lesson from your dog, kick some grass over the shit, and move on.
31. There is no logic in why short pants should cost the same as long pants.
32. Nothing to update on Facebook. So pretend that you are busy at a party.
33. I tried to be awesome today, I was tired of being awesome yesterday.
34. Nothing hurts more than you go to unfriend someone but find they have beaten you to it.
35. I ever got a 4.0 GPA in college was my blood alcohol content only.
36. Being nice to people is not being two-faced, but this is growing up.
37. Instead of checking checkbook, have a look on Facebook.
38. Your intelligence is the common sense I have.
39. Facebook must have the 'no one cares about' option too.
40. I am a liar; trust me.
41. Roses are red, and Facebook is blue. I have no mutual friends then who you are?
42. Facebook is like a prison because you write on its walls.
43. Facebook must have an enemy list too.
44. I add people only to increase the friend list.
45. Facebook is the red carpet for girls who have no talent at all.
46. I am quitting Facebook to face my book.
47. You are a player! I am the coach here.
48. Liking your own status is like appreciating yourself.
49. Paul likes animals. The sweet and sour chicken.
50. If taking a bath is bad for the environment then I am doing a big favor.
51. Single is not lonely, and the relationship is not to be happy.
52. Mark Zuckerberg ruined our lives. That might not be a funny Facebook status for him.
53. Who needs TV drama we have got Facebook.
54. Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.

1. Facebook, suggested friends are the people I am trying to avoid intentionally.
2. Don't like me. I am not a Facebook status.
3. Facebook has two types of people. The one who gets more likes, others are men.
4. Say it on my face not via Facebook status.
5. Behind every successful status, there is ctrl+C and ctrl+V
6. Where to find 'DUH' button on Facebook? Yes, it's a funny Facebook status too.
7. I keep my Facebook page public to make you jealous.
8. Annoying is when two people start a conversation on your status.
9. I failed my quiz but was successful in Face booking.
10. Dance like no one will upload it on Facebook.
11. The first five days after the weekend are tough.
12. I don't have goals it is for players. I am not one.
13. You didn't notice that that I used a word twice here.
14. The real reason women live longer than men is because they don't have wives.
15. Food is a vital part of a balanced diet.
16. If something is not right, try left.
17. Everyone is fine until you see her on Twitter.
18. Eyebrows speak louder than phrases.
19. The girl is not hot. Unlike the temperature.
20. Without a candy crush, I am a kid with no candy.
21. 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is stupid.
22. Went home at 2 with a 10 and woke up today at 10 with 2.
23. Mythical being is an honest politician.
24. Hey, there WhatsApp is using me.
25. I live in fantasy so don't tell me your reality.
26. Eat right, exercise, die anyway.
27. Mosquitoes are like family as they suck blood.
28. Find it funny Facebook status. Save water have a beer.
29. Smile while you still have teeth.
30. Do not kiss behind garden love is blind but neighbors are not.
31. Friends are forever until they get married.
32. C.L.A.S.S means (Come late and start sleeping)
33. WTF is WhatsApp, Twitter, and Facebook.
34. Google should be a woman. It knows everything.
35. Upload funny Facebook status that at least mosquitoes like you.
36. Say the letter M without letting your lips touch.
37. I liked my neighbors until they had the password on Wi-Fi
38. Nothing is illegal until someone caught you.
39. F is my favorite word for Friday.
40. Do not get fit instead pray to God to make your friends fat.
41. I can communicate through my body and in English.
42. If you cannot find the key to success, find lock then.
43. Don't beat kids. They have guns now.
44. Don't steal. That's the government's job.
45. Life is short. Talk fast.
46. Save paper. Don't do your homework.
47. Boys fall; I trip them.
48. Why do stores have a lock on their doors although they are open 24/7?
49. The moment I find the key to success, someone alters the lock.
50. Have lemons and squeeze them into your enemies' eyes.
51. Rule 1 I am right, but if I am wrong, read rule 1.
52. Could not repair your brakes? Make your horns louder.
53. I am not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.

More Funny FB Quotes, Ideas and Messages

1. Chocolate, coffee, and men the richer, the better.
2. No prejudice; I hate everyone equally.
3. Dear Math's grow up and find your X yourself.
4. Eat doughnut. Save vegetable.
5. Life is a bitch. So I am
6. Money does not make me happy but shopping will.
7. I am not lazy. Saving energy.
8. Teachers name it cheating. Friends call it teamwork.
9. Hi there! Using my brain now.
10. Busy now but free forever.
11. Google is for my mind, anti-virus to install in my heart.
12. People with high status don't need status.
13. If you fail to convince, try to confuse them.
14. Round is a shape. I am in shape then.
15. Eat, exercise, but you will die anyhow.
16. I speak in my mind. Don't remember whatever I speak.
17. If the magnet attracts, should I swallow it?
18. The exercise I do is 'running out of money.'
19. The phone screen is brighter than my future.
20. Crying? Grab a tissue, not Facebook.
21. Does running away from problems count as a workout?
22. Apple is controlling us; we have to buy breathe.
23. Make love, not war, do both and marry today.
24. In love with my bed, but my alarm clock is jealous.
25. I wish to have someone so that I can blame as my wife does.
26. Don't trust a person with only one Facebook picture.
27. Whenever it's a long story, it means they don't want to tell you.
28. On Facebook, you can talk to a wall.
29. The world is great. Until you wake up.
30. Love marriage is dancing in front of the snake and asking it to bite you.
31. If you cannot beat them, arrange someone that can.
32. Dammit and I'm mad spell the same way backwards.
33. Your attitude can hurt me; mine may even kill you.
34. Not arguing but explaining why I am right.
35. I am what you see. Don't want your opinion sorry.
36. People laugh, as I am different. I laugh, as they are the same.
37. Yes, I don't care. Please try again.
38. I am on a Mexican, and Italian diet.
39. I am me, and that is something you can never be.
40. I am not a teaser. A reminder of what you cannot have.
41. Never let your friends alone. Disturb them always.
42. People are like clouds when they go day becomes beautiful.
43. Marriage is when dating works well.
44. Not humiliating you, just explaining who you are.
45. I wish common sense to be more common.
46. Take your nose back, I found it in my business.
47. Vodka is for people who like to add fun to their lives.
48. Karma, you missed the list of people that I have.
49. To be successful in life have them: backbone, wishbone, and a funny bone.
50. Don't break anyone's heart; they have only one. Break their bones as they are 206
51. Think like a proton and stay active.
52. After Tuesday, the calendar screams WTF.

CONCLUSION

If you are new to this social networking world you need to know the importance of Facebook status and how can it help you to get more likes, comments, and fame. In this regard, there are some rules that you need to follow so you can begin with the FB status and to make others know your presence write something that is interesting like jokes, wise quotations and a lot more you can do.

Dinesh is the founder of Sysprobs and written more than 400 articles. Enthusiast in Microsoft and cloud technologies with more than 15 years of IT experience.

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Source: https://www.sysprobs.com/funny-facebook-status

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